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5.9.13

My promise to my future child

Dear Child,

I hope that whatever age you or I will be, and whatever phase or fad you or I will take part in, that we will still communicate openly and regularly. I pray that I will have the brains and balls to sit patiently with you and have a conversation. My promise to you is that whatever is on your mind, from the most innane, or current-generation, pop-culture reference possible to the more serious questions or comments that you will have, that I will listen. And if it is ever something that nears or lands in the spectrum of sad or unfortunate topics, I promise I will never be angry at you. I'm not a robot so I may be upset, surprised, or show whatever possible excited emotion, but I will never react in a way that will make you question your existence or identity. However, if that ever happens, I hope you'll call me out.

I won't ever be your best friend, maybe not even a friend, but I'll be a mother whose only and greatest gift I can give to you is to show empathy and be supportive. I will push you because I know that you can reach farther than you can imagine but I will never limit you with my thoughts. I won't ever be your crutch, but your cheerleader. And of course, as your mother, I will tell you what to do, because I can but I will take the time to step in your shoes before passing judgment, because you, my dear, have thoughts and beliefs. 

At the end of the day, you, I, and everyone else in the world is imperfect, but I hope you will never feel a void in your life, your soul, your being that you believe is my job to fill.

Love,
Your Future Mother

9.9.12

Favorite Things Four


  • My dog is a bit smelly and has quite a musty smell. At the same time this smell feels like home to me. Oh dear. 
  • Tyler Knott Gregson's bits of poems, words, and photography. Google him. 
  • This list. That song from The Sound of Music really knew what they were talking about. 
  • Bon Iver Pandora around midnight with the cold night air filling up the space around me. 

1.9.12

20.8.12

Favorite Things Two


  • Cool night air
  • Cooking...I'm a foodie. 
  • Camping
  • Clouds
  • All things that start with "c" (just kidding...maybe)
  • Hiking....I've decided I'm a hiking junkie
  • Solitude
  • Photography
  • The city. I love the hustle and bustle, crowds of people, plethora of cuisines, so much to see - culture, music, art, ideas. I'm a city girl. I could never give up the "dirtiness", social tremors, 
  • Nature. I love the view, the unpredictability, the adventure, and the freedom. Nature is completely and utterly quiet. the sound of the wind. Campfires [, s'mores, and roasted Starburst], oh the burn of campfires. And a sky that will take your breath away at any time, any time.
  • City and nature? Yea, I'm all over the place.
  • Wacky weather. Thunderstorms are enveloping, like Mother Nature's heartbeat. Lightning is mesmerizing, purely mesmerizing. I could be a storm chaser.
  • Music. It moves me and fills up any emptiness. 

17.8.12

Favorite Things One


  • Rain in the middle night and my windows are open so I can hear it. Especially pouring rain.
  • "I'll Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie. Particularly between the dark hours of 11pm-4am

2.6.12

I'm that awkward friend who just randomly shows up after some time.

Hi. I did miss you quite a lot. But I didn't know what to say or what to write. I get self-conscious of the internet world. Sharing details of my life and thoughts....at times I think Oh, who will see what I write? and other times I think Everyone will see what I write, I better keep to myself. I also think It's been so long, I should just scrap this. But then I feel uneasy because I need a place to spill my guts and although I spill my guts verbally, I do need to write. I'm not a literary, I hardly read or write, but when I talk I imagine the words scrolling across the little screen in my head like a teleprompter. Writing the words I think helps me slow down, and I've been moving too fast lately.

So baby steps. I'll inch my way back, slowly.

My friend said I should start a food blog. Ehh. Too much work to do as much as I like. However, I would like to post the results of a successful dinner. It was my first "dinner party" tonight. The first time I really ever cooked a well-balanced dinner for more than one person**. Usually my parents cook so I've never made an entree. More often just desserts and baked goods or snacks, never a full meal with proteins, veggies, and dessert. It took a while but I'm really proud of myself and it was quite delicious. More deets below....

The Menu
This is my birthday present to one of my dearest friends. She really likes tacos so she requested it. I threw in a chocolate flourless cake as a birthday cake ending. My knife skills are really lacking so the prep work and putting it together took a really long time but if you're an experienced cook it would take much less time. In hindsight, I should have used a food processor, lots of chopping!

  • Carne asada marinated chicken - cilantro, garlic, onion, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, salt, lime + lime juice, cumin, paprika, chile powder in the marinade plus chicken thigh meat (I believe dark meats are more flavorful, juicier, and harder to screw up than chicken breast. It's up to you. If you're worried about fat, just trim it! That's what I did and I didn't lose any flavor). Next time I do this, I'm going to marinate the chicken overnight but a few hours did just fine. After I cooked the chicken, I added julienned sweet mini bell peppers and chopped onions to pick up the chicken flavors in the pan and to bulk up the dish
  • Guacamole - avocados, cilantro, lime juice, red onions, salt
  • Tomato salsa - tomatoes, cilantro, lime juice, red onions, salt, chile powder
  • Mango salsa - mangoes*, cucumbers, red onions, chile powder, salt, lime juice...I adapted this from a recipe on foodnetwork.com
  • Sour cream
  • Sliced avocados - you can never have too many avocadoes!
  • Shredded cheese
  • Tortillas
I took the pictures with my phone so images are quite shoddy. I was a bit too lazy to grab my camera near me and I couldn't grab the camera before we started digging in. We were starved!

Lime juice, cilantro and onions (white or red...I used white with cooking and marinades and red with the salsas) are a common ingredient. Although recipes usually have amounts and such I've learned that the best rule in general is to follow your taste buds and what you like. For all of this I used my general knowledge and compared recipes online. I'm Asian and this was the first time I've ever cooked "Mexican" food. The only thing I would like to add is jalapeños to the chicken, tomato salsa, and mango salsa because I love spices and a hot kick but my friend doesn't tolerate heat well so I excluded it. Whether or not you make it spicy is up to you. I don't think you'd miss out on the flavor either way.

*I used a Mexican mango which was the first time I ever tried it. I'm not a big fan, it's too fibrous and mushy for my tastes. I'm used to Thai mangoes, I think either chauk anan or nam taan jin, maybe even simsean but I don't remember them being so orange-y. Anyways I'm used to Thai mangoes from Asian supermarkets. I would recommend using them when they're just ripe a day or two so they are firm enough in the salsa)

We cut this up before I could take a picture again. It's topped with a chocolate ganache which adds a really beautiful and shiny finishing touch to the cake's appearance.

  • Flourless Chocolate Cake - search wholefoodsmarket.com ... it's gluten-free! I had homemade flourless chocolate cake once before and the crumbs of the cake I made was more crumbly than the one I had before. I think because most other recipes use heavy cream, which I imagine adds a silky smooth texture to the cake and makes it a lot more satisfying. But this one was like a really good brownie. Definitely one of the simplest cake recipes I've ever seen.
  • Quartered strawberries - plus a bit of brown sugar to draw out a little liquid, enhance the strawberries' natural sweetness, and make a light syrup...the strawberries add a beautiful refreshing touch to chocolate-intense cake

Bon appétit!


**Correction 6/3/12 - Actually I've cooked dinner for another person before but it was just a pizza, hardly well-balanced but still delicious!

26.1.12

Lesson Learned

I am selfish. I do good things for others because I should and that makes me feel good (the doing good for others and doing what I should). And then I learn how my actions mean so much more to whomever is on the receiving end. It makes me feel greatly, greatly humiliated. I need to stay grounded and open my eyes.  I need to see the world around me, it's so easy to miss out on so much.

Lesson learned: Pride is such an easy emotion to take in.